A while ago, on my way back from the grocery I saw a couple making out in a telephone box. That was the moment I was convinced it's finally spring time. It was so warm outside! It was like Finland in April when April is at its best, and considering it was still February it was pretty nice. I'm sure it will be very nice in April! However, it got colder again, while Yago and I had escaped the little winter to Lisbon. There it was like Finland in June, with the occasional cold downpours, of course. We were like some bloody English tourists there, passing people on the left hand side, the wrong side. (OK well not exactly, thanks to Yago's language skills.) It's also a miracle neither of us got hit by a car. And excuse me, but what is this coin too flat to be a coin in my hand? Oh, 2 euros. I remember how weird pounds used to feel like, and how it took me ages to learn which coin was which cause the sizes don't make any sense. Now euros felt like distant friends — I knew you well once but I don't know you anymore. And going "home" to England was an interesting experience. Something I've always wanted to do at least once. Oh, forgot to mention! If you ever go to Lisbon, stay in a hostel called Rossio. It was brilliant, absolutely nothing to complain about. I could almost go back to that city just to stay there.
I cannot believe it's only been a week since Jatta left. I've had too many shifts and too much on my mind. Plus I'm back where I started from: I'm the only Finn. And in just another week I'll basically be playing stoppage time. See, I'm so athletic I'm using a football term. Actually, I did go running last Saturday! But mostly to preserve my mental health rather than my physical health. It's the only reason I ever do any sports. I'm probably unconsciously stressing about leaving more than I've allowed myself to think. I think I haven't really understood I'm actually going to pack all my stuff (should be interesting, totally looking forward to that), hand in my keys, say goodbye and go. Like, that was it. It will never be it. This whole experience is something I'll always have and nobody can ever take it away from me. I'm grateful for both the greatest and the worst moments, I would do it all over again. What I'm most amazed by is how did I ever have the courage to do this at all? I'm not a brave person, I'm not! For the first time I started to think in weeks instead of months, and that's what really got to me. Six weeks. Which my mind chops into three and three, and three weeks is a ridiculously short time. Then I got stuck on the idea of six weeks, and today I realised it's not six weeks anymore, it's five. Or five and a half. Either way, time keeps passing by. Alright, this got all cheesy now but it's true. I was surprised when a couple of days ago I caught myself thinking that maybe, MAYBE, it might be nice to gradually go back. It may have been because they're making me work my arse off this week, though, and I was just not in the mood. But now stop! I'm still here.
If I desire to start uni next autumn, and I do, I need to start studying for my entrance examination. Entrance examination. Even the term itself is so dull it makes me not want to do it. All along I've known this is coming, but it doesn't make it any easier. I mean, if opening the book to get started is difficult even normally, imagine after a year! Sometimes I've wondered why am I leaving England to study English in Finland, but I feel like studying in my hometown is the right thing to do at the moment. And I can always go on exchange! (It's compulsory at some point during your studies, what a shame...) I have to read short stories, linguistics, and something else, grammar and stuff. I've read one of the short stories now. It's going to be alright though, I'll only be working three days a week so even in order to not get bored I'll have to study. I hope.
Jessie Ware - Wildest Moments
I cannot believe it's only been a week since Jatta left. I've had too many shifts and too much on my mind. Plus I'm back where I started from: I'm the only Finn. And in just another week I'll basically be playing stoppage time. See, I'm so athletic I'm using a football term. Actually, I did go running last Saturday! But mostly to preserve my mental health rather than my physical health. It's the only reason I ever do any sports. I'm probably unconsciously stressing about leaving more than I've allowed myself to think. I think I haven't really understood I'm actually going to pack all my stuff (should be interesting, totally looking forward to that), hand in my keys, say goodbye and go. Like, that was it. It will never be it. This whole experience is something I'll always have and nobody can ever take it away from me. I'm grateful for both the greatest and the worst moments, I would do it all over again. What I'm most amazed by is how did I ever have the courage to do this at all? I'm not a brave person, I'm not! For the first time I started to think in weeks instead of months, and that's what really got to me. Six weeks. Which my mind chops into three and three, and three weeks is a ridiculously short time. Then I got stuck on the idea of six weeks, and today I realised it's not six weeks anymore, it's five. Or five and a half. Either way, time keeps passing by. Alright, this got all cheesy now but it's true. I was surprised when a couple of days ago I caught myself thinking that maybe, MAYBE, it might be nice to gradually go back. It may have been because they're making me work my arse off this week, though, and I was just not in the mood. But now stop! I'm still here.
If I desire to start uni next autumn, and I do, I need to start studying for my entrance examination. Entrance examination. Even the term itself is so dull it makes me not want to do it. All along I've known this is coming, but it doesn't make it any easier. I mean, if opening the book to get started is difficult even normally, imagine after a year! Sometimes I've wondered why am I leaving England to study English in Finland, but I feel like studying in my hometown is the right thing to do at the moment. And I can always go on exchange! (It's compulsory at some point during your studies, what a shame...) I have to read short stories, linguistics, and something else, grammar and stuff. I've read one of the short stories now. It's going to be alright though, I'll only be working three days a week so even in order to not get bored I'll have to study. I hope.
Jessie Ware - Wildest Moments
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